Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
