He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize