so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
we're so committed to being not committed
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
