I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
