Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize