Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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