Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
