everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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