Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
and she was petting her beer can
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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