WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
