my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize