So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
