she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
