it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
