Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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