just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize