I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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