He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You took a bar mat shot.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
