brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
