To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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