You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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