I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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