I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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