shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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