was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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