Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
