I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
