All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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