Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
