He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
