Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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