Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize