it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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