Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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