What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
