You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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