So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
