they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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