I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
