My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
