Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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