thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
