last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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