"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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