idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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