I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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