Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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