just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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