No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
