Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
