My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize