His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
