? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
