what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
