Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We have started to decorate penises.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
