I love black thongs
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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