Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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