Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
