I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
bring money and cleavage
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
