i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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