I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My feet surprised me
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
the raccoons are back...
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