i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize